Tuesday, December 11, 2007

A Campaign Against a Stupid Campaign

So here's someone trying humor and missing.

I got sent this this morning, and went a little deeper into the page to make sure I wasn't missing the humor. And with research done and data in, the conclusion is: I'm not. This type of humor is so easy that it is just a waste of time; there are people doing this I'm-gonna-try-to-offend-everyone-because-I-think-it's-funny bit already (Borat, Sarah Silverman, et al.) who are good at it, and even they get boring rather quickly. This guy should do himself a favor and quit trying so hard.

Re: this little campaign against vegetarians, here's a little campaign I've started: It's called If Anyone Refers To This "Sponsor A Vegetarian" B.S., Beat The Shit Out Of Them. How's that for hippy, animal-loving, tree-hugging passivism? Yes, I'm a vegetarian. But if I ever do go back to eating meat, I'll go hunting with my dad. I got a nice compound bow sitting in my basement that I'd dust off and go get me some venison. I doubt this guy knows what venison is, so filled up on Tombstone pepperoni pizzas to branch out a little bit. The problem isn't that you're eating meat. I don't give a shit if you eat meat. The problem is that you buy this processed crap that comes from corporate farms where the animals, contrary to this genius' assessment of an animal's life, do not "spend most of [their lives] shitting in a field." Most of the things you're putting in your body never even see a fucking field. If you're going to eat the stuff why don't you be a "real man" and head off into the woods and get it your damn self? Well, because that would take too much time away from sitting at your computer reassuring yourself about your own masculinity by writing about how cool your boner is and how stupid women are. Nice job, buddy. Real funny stuff.

So, my campaign begins, because as our friend so astutely points out in his hilarious explanation of "Sponsor a Vegetarian": "most people still need a crowbar up side the head." Mine's in my trunk.

See how easy it is to rant?


P.S. To be fair, there are actually some funny things on this site, but like I said, it's just too easy to be interesting/funny for long.

1 comment:

Dustin said...

David, it has been so long since your little dedos have been here...and here.

About Me

David Luke Doody is a freelance writer and editor. He is a founding editor of InDigest Magazine (www.indigestmag.com), an online literary magazine and the blog editor for Guernica Magazine (www.guernicamag.com). His writing and interviews have appeared in those magazines as well as in The Huffington Post, mnartists.org, The Minnesota Twins Yearbook, and Intentionally Urban Magazine, among others.

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