Irony Goes the Way of the Dodo

In a shocking report released today by the Social Science Institute Dr. J.W. Bullenger claims that Irony is dead and has been replaced by Earnestness.

"It seems that more and more people are choosing to actually consider issues of the day," claimed Dr. Bullenger in an interview with the New York Times. "Rather than just make snide remarks about those issues, it seems that some people may actually care. Some for the first time ever."

While many question the findings or, as is the case at at least one web site--imhipandyourenot.blogspot.com, call Dr. Bullenger's study biased, many more seem to agree with the findings.

One man wearing small, black-rimmed glasses, a haircut with bangs that hung over one eyebrow, and a cardigan, stopped in the Uptown neighborhood of Minneapolis said, "Yeah, Irony is SOOO dead." The man then took a call on his iPhone.

Most agree that the death of Irony has come as a direct result of one man: Barack Obama.

Picture: Barack Obama apparently caring about something.

Jill Sarsay, a marketing consultant, claims she used to love Irony and used it daily to brush people aside and show an overall apathy towards the world. No longer, though.

"It's like I just want to be all, 'Yeah, I REALLY think that's cool,' and make some douche bag feel like an idiot for thinking his shit's cool when really it sucks," said Ms. Sarsay. "But, I just feel bitchy now when I talk to people like that. Instead of feeling superior I feel, like, the opposite."

As many across the country welcome the change from Irony to Earnestness, others are not so thrilled.

Picture: Bill O'Reilly: "Barack Obama is a murderer."

Bill O'Reilly of the Fox News network exclaimed on his show tonight, "Barack Obama is a killer. He's killed Irony! Plain and simple, the man is a murderer. First he wants to seduce young, white girls, and now he thinks he can go around killing! Irony is as American as apple pie, and I for one won't stand by as Mr. Barack Hussein Obama marches his rock-star personality all over the grave of something as American as Apple Pie."

Attempts to reach the Obama camp have thus far been unsuccessful. Likewise, messages left for Alanis Morissette were not answered.