Peter Sieve, or Peter de Seve, makes a lemon levitate.
Press Release from I Watch So You Don't Have To
July 28, 2008
Will the Real Peter Sieve Please Stand Up?
It has been brought to my attention that the cartoonist responsible for the controversial New Yorker cover depicting lobsters escaping certain doom (see last post) may be none other than Peter Sieve, lead guitarist of the Minneapolis-based Chris Koza band. Though the name attributed to the cartoon is Peter de Seve, many sources tell me that the hands behind such melodious tunes as "Adjust" and the soon-to-be classic "Straight to Video" are also the hands behind the soon-to-be infamous cartoon.
When reached for comment, Mr. Sieve had this to say:
"Listen, yo, Chris writes the songs that make the whole world sing. I just try to kick in some nice licks behind them. I have no alter-cartoonist-ego. I haven't drawn since I was a kid."
At least one fan's story would lead one to believe otherwise. According to Stacey Jorghanson of Souix City, South Dakota the lobster now tatooed on her right breast was originally drawn there with a Sharpie marker by Mr. Sieve after he performed with Mr. Koza and the rest of the band at Hogs Wild, a local saloon and music venue in Soiux City.
Ms. Jorghanson:
"I just fell in love with him on stage. He had this long, flowing hair and these super cool black glasses. He was so, you know, sophisticated. Not like these idiots I usually hang around with."
Ms. Jorghanson said that after the show she and Mr. Sieve "drank like 20 Captain Cokes" and she told him to sign her "wherever he wanted to." At which time Mr. Sieve apparently drew a lobster in lieu of signing his name on the 21-year-old's right breast. Ms. Jorghanson had the drawing turned into a tattoo the following day.
The tattoo bears a striking resemblance to the lobsters on the latest cover of The New Yorker.
Mr. Sieve denies ever having met Ms. Jorghanson. Though, when asked about the night in question, Chris Koza told me that although he could not say whether or not Mr. Sieve and Ms. Jorghanson were in one another's company after the Souix Falls show, it would not be the first time Mr. Sieve has autographed a female fan's chest.
Peter Sieve (right) and Chris Koza
Brought to you by I Watch So You Don't Have To, a media watch dog, hounding the mainstream media to get it Right since 2002.
-See previous post for backstory on this post-
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2 comments:
I'd like to set the record straight.
I can say with the utmost certainty that, hypothetically, if I DID draw that lobster, I most assuredly would NOT have depicted its left claw in such a fashion that made it appear to be pinching her nipple. If -- emphasis on IF -- that were to be an accurate description of this drawing (which I would NEVER illustrate on paper, let alone a 21-year-old's pert, luscious, nubile bosom), then the nipple-claw portion would DEFINITELY had to have been an embellishment by the tattoo artist, about whom I would say -- were I to have any hand in this ridiculous bedtime story at all -- lacks any sort of artistic sensibility whatsoever, and RUINED an otherwise tasteful representation of crustacean erotica, which, had the tattoo faithfully replicated my HYPOTHETICAL original design, would have elevated Ms. Jorghanson's supple, delicious body into a work of true masterpiece, one that even God himself would concede is superior to His first draft.
That said, I have no idea why the author of this piece, Mr. Doody, is attempting to drag my good name through the mud, since I have an ironclad alibi for that evening that can be backed up my mulitiple witnesses. Just go ask the gainful employees of Thankful Frank's Spank-Me Lounge, of Sioux Falls, SD, exactly who that long-haired, bespectacled gentleman was that spent all night stuffing Hamiltons into their G-strings and vomiting in their dressing room. Yeah, that's right: ME.
Case closed, motherfucker!
I knew I couldn't trust you Pete, this just confirms it...
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